Premier League Darts Belfast

Kevin Painter v Simon Whitlock
Andy Hamilton v Adrian Lewis
Gary Anderson v James Wade
Raymond van Barneveld v Phil Taylor

Most sports fans watch hour upon hour of, often boring, often turgid, entertainment, just for that fleeting moment when the ball ripples the net, or the baseball’s hit clean out the park, or the 80 yard pass is lofted on a wing and a prayer and is...oh my god...caught. Something miraculous rises out of hours of crap. We want to be surprised, we want to be titillated. 

But we grasp that these moments are like precious metals, we’re in the water panning for gold, and we get the odd grain; and that’s enough, it’s worth it.

These moments are transcendent, these moments are rare.

Not with the Premier League. Not yet anyway. Two weeks have passed and we haven’t had to sit through a bunch of crap to get to the good bits.

Week one: Lewis v Taylor.

Week two: Phil Taylor nine-darter.

And plenty of other fun stuff in between. 

Premier League Darts is sport on its head, with most of it great, punctuated by the odd bit of rubbish.

It can’t last, we’ll get a bad night eventually. But while the quality remains this high, we may as well buckle our seatbelts.

The first match is Kevin Painter v Simon Whitlock. Painter won a nervy encounter with Gary Anderson in week one. However his nerves seemed to have deserted him in week two when he raced to a 4-1 lead against Phil Taylor. 

And then this happened.

You can’t really blame Painter for his subsequent collapse. Phil’s nine-darter was the darting equivalent of a kick in the goolies. It was a low blow. But the ref didn’t allow a count, Painter had to struggle on with his private parts firmly lodged in his gullet. 

Unfortunately for Painter, Premier League Darts offers no respite. The in form Simon Whitlock could not be playing better, and Painter could be on a hiding to nothing if he can’t put last week’s disappointment behind him. We’ll see.

Then you’ve got Lewis v Hamilton. A repeat of the World final in The McCoy’s Premier League Darts, and probably a repeat of a match played in a Stokie watering hole for a packet of McCoy’s. Salt and Vinegar.

Two draws for Lewis to start his Premier League campaign is not ideal, but the performances have been worthy of him, and it’s only a matter of time before he attains maximum points from one these 14 leg encounters. 

But with revenge on his mind, a dish best served cold, and where colder than Belfast, this will be far from easy, far from routine and comfortable for Adrian Lewis.

Gary Anderson and James Wade meet in a battle of the underwhelmers. Or at least that’s how this match looked to be shaping up until Gary Anderson found some of the talent - talent that is normally his in abundance - against Andy Hamilton in his native Scotchland. 

He demolished Hamilton 8-2, but with an average of a mere 85 he is not entirely out of the woods, and it is a brave prognosticator who declares Gary Anderson back at his peak. Despite a history of wild predictions this blog will not indulge in that particular prophecy. Not even Moses would be bold enough to prophecy that. And he loves darts.

Wadey Wadey Wadey. It’s not been good. He’s bottom of the table. He did average 96 last week in his defeat to Whitlock, which is kind of a silver lining. There is that.  It’s not been good. But *flicks through jumbo book of sporting cliches* Form is Temporary and Class is Permanent, and James Wade is a classy chucker. He could be due one.

Barney!

Taylor!

2007 World Final!

It is no longer entirely appropriate to bang that drum when these two meet. The rivalry is more one sided that Hitler’s hairdo

But on a positive note for Barney his form is on an uptick. Two well fought draws with Whitlock and Lewis to start his 2012 Premier League Darts campaign is nothing to sniff at, in fact it’s very good, particularly in the manner of those draws. He was at his smooth and unflappable best in both those matches. 

Taylor will win this match. This is what my brain says. Taylor hit a nine-darter last week for the love of God!

And it’s a fools errand to try and predict the transcendent moment from this week’s matches. As the Lewis v Taylor match was in week one. As the nine-dater was in week two. 

And it may not be here. Maybe Barney won’t win.

But Barney could surprise us? Couldn’t he?

Anyway, one thing is for sure. 

Something crazy will happen.